there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
