nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
