I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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