Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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