Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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