my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
