I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize