Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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