Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
