I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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