I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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