i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
