is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
