also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
