I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
