I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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