God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Randomize