It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
