Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just saw a hot homeless man
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
