my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
