Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
