i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
She swung at the pinata with crutches
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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