we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
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I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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