I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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