Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
love makes seman taste better
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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