its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
