But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
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He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
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I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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