You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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