I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize