Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

one word: firstdatebathroomanal

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.

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(519): View more from Ontario

He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?

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(513): View more from Ohio

You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.

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(520): View more from Arizona

Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away

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(509): View more from Washington

As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.

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(540): View more from Virginia

I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.

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(614): View more from Ohio

first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out

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