I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
