My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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