You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
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