I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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