This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
You're like the curious george of whores
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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