Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize
