why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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