I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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