If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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