If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
