We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
