Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
