i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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