Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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