The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
