Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
