How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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