i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
We need to get me chipped asap
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
