he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
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He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
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Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize