I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
