So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
