dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
