Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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