My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
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