There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
