White coat. Heels.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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