She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
