I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
