I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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