i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
