ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
