I wanna passion pit in your ass
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
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I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
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I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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