Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
