my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
